The unknown Patron Letters Gasp!
by Miss.Understood3
Summary: WARNING: Roaul Bashing!!! GO!! Run Roaul Lovers! Run!! R/R!!!
1. Buhahacoughgagcoughhaha

Letters from the Partron of the Opera......*Gasp!*  
  
$Disclamer&: I OWN EVERY THING!!! BHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Erik:no you dont  
  
Oh poo  
  
Oh yeah I didnt wright this eather.... its my cosons pj so if it sucks dont flame me....FLAME HER!!!! Attack her with dust bunnys!!!!!  
  
^@#&)!@*#)$(&*#($&(#&$(&@)(*)^%&#)$(_#@&(($&  
  
Few people know that the Patron of the opera wrote notes.....well I do cus i made him! Here is the unknown, cunning, brave, and slitly scary notes from the Patron of the Opera....Dum Dum DUM!!!!!!!!!! :p*spit on you! oh sorry*  
  
1#  
EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~Patron of the Opera~  
  
2#  
Dear Carlatta,  
  
Sandwich....!!!  
  
Blond Musuler Man!  
~p.o.t.o~  
  
3#  
Dear Phantom-Man,  
  
I LIKE EGGS AND CHEESE!!!  
  
MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
Oh yeah.... I can laugh like U!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
4#  
Dear Erik..if thats your *real* name.... That note really hurt my feelings and....I....I...really have to go to the pody!!!! Oh wait.... I already did!! Bye bye!  
  
P.O.T.O ^_^  
  
5#  
Dear Erik,  
Grasshoppers are green and  
They HOP  
they HOP  
They HOP  
They HOP!  
  
Whats my name again? Oh yeah!  
  
Potato of the Opera  
  
6#  
Dear Sandwich I mean Carlatta,  
  
OWW!  
YOUR VOICE HURTS MY EARS!! IT BURNS!!!  
  
MOMMY!  
P.O.T.O  
  
7#  
Dear Christine  
  
I like  
fruit  
Juice !  
  
:P  
P.O.T.O.  
  
8# Dear Carlatta,  
  
I  
Need  
A  
New  
Pair  
Of  
Pants...... I had an  
Accident!!:'(  
P.O.T.O  
  
9# Dear Chirstine,  
  
Tomatos are RED!  
And  
APPLES R too!!!  
.....sometimes...!!!  
  
~Potato of the Opera~  
  
10#  
Dear Erik,  
This time clever Friend,  
Your butt shall me MINE!!!!!!!  
  
With love,  
P.O.T.O  
  
11#  
Dear Christine Saprno Lady,  
  
I  
LIke  
EGGS!!!!  
And Pizza....that wasen't invented yet!!  
  
12#  
Dear Erik scary- man- guy, Guess what.......I have teeth!!! :)  
  
P.O.T.O  
(hey that almost spells patato!!!^-^)  
  
13#  
Dear Erik,  
I need ....  
CHICKENS!!!!  
Buck! Buck! Buck!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
14#  
Dear carlatta-mean-lady-person,  
  
Your a Meany-Weeny-Poo-Poo-Head  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
15#  
Dear Erik,  
  
The Patato of The Opera is there..... inside your abnoraly huge MIND!!!!!!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
16#  
Dear Erik,  
  
Eggs, Milk, Coffee, Sugar and more Eggs. If you do not get me these things I will be forced to kill a bug!!!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
17#  
Dear Christine,  
  
I like Blue Berrie Pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
:)P.O.T.O:)  
  
18#  
Dear Christine,  
  
you're as Pretty as.......as......  
  
Owwwww!!!!!! It hurts to think....As a Pineapple!!!  
I like pineapples!!!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
19#  
Dear Carlatta high pitched voice Lady (if you really *are* a Lady!!!!)  
  
Guess What.....?  
  
ERIK CALLED U  
  
A  
  
COW!!  
  
You should kick him!:)  
  
~P.O.T.O~  
  
20#  
Dear Erik Saprano Stealing guy person,  
  
Philippie said you're a Figment- thats a big word...well for me it is.......) of Christine's Imagination....whatever that is!  
  
P.O.T.O 


	2. Lets sing some songs!

$Disclamer$: I own nothing.......only.....wait....not that eather.....*Tear*  
  
I CANT SPELL!!!!!!!!! A 1st GRADER CAN SPELL BETTER THAN I!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
@^$#$(&@#^*$^A)$*A#&*GASP*)#&$)#(%)#*$)#$)#*%)_#&$%^%*#)&(&  
  
Heres some more disterbing letters from the Fop himself!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dear Christine,  
  
Roses are Red,  
  
Violets are Blue,  
  
Suger is Sweet,  
  
And so is.....................................  
  
............................................................................ ...  
  
............................................................................ .....................  
  
..................CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....oh and you......  
  
THE POTATO OF THE OPERA  
  
Dear Erik,  
  
*says very fast*  
  
I Stuck a Chipalatta up each of my nostrils and.....n....now I can't SMELL!!!!  
  
All I can smell is chipalattas!!!  
  
Potato of the Opera  
  
P.S. S.O.P! (Save Our Potato!)  
  
Dear Christine,  
  
Every time I look in to your eyes I see.....my self staren back at me!  
  
{{Oh yeah! That ryemed (spelled that wrong huh?)!!)  
  
Your Mashed Friend,  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
Dear Managers,  
  
*Start Singing to the tune of 'Two Pinaclattas (spelled that wrong two!)  
  
I need Two chipalattas....... One for each hand. We can set sail with captin Erik,  
  
who never leaves dark land!! The chickens I forgot them..... Barred 'em in the  
  
sand.....so bring me two chipalttas....And say good bye to your trubles with....  
  
.....*wisper* the Phantom. ^____________^  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
Dear Meg my *darling* wife,  
  
HUSBAND BEATER!!  
  
HUSBAND BEATER!!  
  
HUSBAND BEATER!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
p.s I'll go back to my closet now....@_@  
  
Dear Madam Giry Old Person Lady,  
  
I belive your daughter has problems. She was trying to push me down the  
  
stairs, but luckly I landed on my head so it softed my fall.  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
Dear Carlatta,  
  
I found one of your hats! But why does it have two head holes??  
  
The Potato of the Opera  
  
Dear Erik,  
  
I demand you to stop making big words! Its making me sound stupid!  
  
*Beeps nose for own amusement* See! No stupidity here!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
The Potato of the Opera  
  
Dear Erik,  
  
You suck the fun out of everything!!  
  
FUN SUCKER!!  
  
FUN SUCKER!!  
  
FUN SUCKER!!  
  
P.O.T.O  
  
Dear Madam Giry,  
  
Peaches are Fuzzy, So is your uper-lip!!!!! ^____________^  
  
Dear Christine,  
  
I ate mashed potatos today!!.....Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I ate my self!!!  
  
But I taste so good!!  
  
Potato of the Opera\  
  
#$(@#$^#*($%^(@&$%$*@&(@^$*&@(#@(%^@(#&$(@#^$(&@(^$(  
  
A/N about that 'my darling wife' thing. I wrote a humer story once about meg and Raoul being married and Meg is a husband beater.^-^  
  
Like I said i cant spell and i do not have spell check eather....my computer sucks buttermilk TT.  
  
R/R and I might wright more!!  
  
Raoul:I want to sing to my fans!!!!!  
  
Me: what fans?  
  
Raoul: Just because there is none around us dosent mean i dont have none....*presses nose* Beep!  
  
me:oh yes who could resist that?  
  
Raoul: SLUSH IT! here is a song all you kids can sing when your going back to school!!  
  
Me:Oh no....  
  
Raoul: *Clears voice*  
  
Back to school....  
  
Back to school....  
  
To prove to Erik I'm not a fool....  
  
I got my lunch packed up....  
  
my shoes are shiny.....  
  
I hope nobody kicks my hiney!  
  
Me: you just riped that off of Adam Sadler song!  
  
Raoul: *gasp* NO! He Ripped it off of me!  
  
ME:dont mind him......just R/R! 


	3. The dumbest chapter YET!

**HEY! Im back! gasp! Run! hide your children! Hide your chickens!...**

**RAOUL IS BACK...IN ACTON!**

**Raoul:...**

**Me: IN ACTON...**

**Raoul:...**

**Me:...wisper Raoul!...**

**Raoul:...**

**Adence: cricets chip**

**Me:errrr...**

**Adence: starts to leave**

**Me: noooo! wait! wait! till our star..**

**Erik: rolls eyes**

**Me:comes back, liston to the beautifull Chirstine**

**Christine:stairing out in space...humming to her self**

**Me: omg...CHRISTINE!**

**Christine: oh me... starts to sing BOO-BOP-BE-BO! DO-DO-DO-BE-BOP! sings this over and over and over and over gasp and over**

**Me: kill me now!**

**Erik: no...**

**Me: I'm give you my nickel...George...last name Bob...**

**Erik: no**

**Chiristine: high note BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!**

**tolet flush**

**Raoul:mmmm...much better...**

**Me: IN ACTON!**

**DISCLAMER: I DONT OWN DIDDLY SQUAT! NADA! NOTHING!**

**Hey miss. Catherine Mor...somethingoranother MY IQ Can go LOWER!THANK YOU VERY MUCH! NOW I KNOW WHATS SMELLING UNDER MY BED! Im sooper smarrt. **

**on with the letters,**

**Dear Manager-people-men**

**My salery has not been paid! leave a box of cheese in the hollow tree in the park and no body... or should I say... no bug will get hurt!**

**I remain mashed**

**your french fried friend**

**The potato of the opera**

**Dear Maddam Gary**

**Meg stole my chickens and said I wasn't allowed to eat cheese anymore! She pushed me down the stairs again, but she really didn't push me... she hit me with bat in the back of my head screaming "Die so I can have your money!" You should ground her I really think she has problems!**

**your very bruised son-in-law **

**the potato of the opera**

**Reply from Maddam Gary**

**Dear Shtupid Boy**

**I told her to smack you in the head with a bat! You're just too shtupid to DIE! Now I must leave, Erik is about to take a shower and I have front row seats!**

**Your hateful Mother In law**

**Maddam Gary**

**PS Will you hurry up and plumit to your death? I'm running out of beer money!**

**Now a special Valentine Specals**

**(a Valentine From Erik to Carlatta)**

**Dear Carlatta,**

**Roses are Red,**

**Violets are Blue,**

**Flowers make my eyes water,**

**Good, now I can't see you.**

**O.G.**

**)&))&)))(((**

**Sorry for such a small chapter in unknown patron letters GASP! And YES! My IQ can get lower baby! Muahahaha! I shall also post another chapter of Potato of the Opera today too! victory dance**

**Oh and Raoul and I would like to thank you for your reviews! And flames! Even though Raoul isnt alowed to play with flames any more!**


End file.
